ONE LAST THOUGHT BEFORE SLUMBER CONSUMES ME

I want you.
Keeping myself busy looking makes things worse.
Especially since you don't know that I'm looking at you.
But I'm looking in the same light as I've always done.


Please feel this way.

Why didn't?

Why didn't Peter Pan hover over my bed and watch me sleep?
Why didn't I doodle his beautiful body in my notebook during school?
Why didn't he seduce me with some fairy dust?
Why didn't he take me to the second star on the right?
Why didn't my brothers come along?
Why didn't Peter's feisty fairy hate me?
Why didn't I get jealous of Tiger Lily?
Why didn't I become the mother of the Lost Boys?
Why didn't I get kidnapped by Captain Hook?
Why didn't Peter save me?

The one 'why did':
Why did my parents want me to grow up?

BlackWhite|StraightCurly|CatDog

I recently discussed with a good ole' pal about introversion and extroversion. Now that I think about it, on the outside I'm so quiet. People always ask me, "Why don't you talk much?" And I always respond with a "WHAT! I'm so loud!" or a "I'm talkative!"

I really find this funny because I'm not loud or talkative at all.
I know why I say, "I'm so loud! I'm talkative!". It's because in my own mind, my brain's words only whisper in my ears. No one elses. And just up until NOW, I realize this?

This makes me feel a little helpless. So many things are running through my mind, but they can't seem to trickle down to my voice box and seep out of my lips. I must find a way to break this mouth barrier.

_______________________ The other side of the story________________________


When I feel comfortable enough to speak, it's insulting.

I don't mean it though, I promise.

Them and/or Me.

I understand high school brings people together, but I've seen the other side.
The other side of is isn't too pretty.
Best friends, forever & ever & beyond that.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.
You make plans & cancel them.
You make plans & I view them.

I know you've got new friends and an entire new life and yes, I do too. BUT, you're my best friend; we can't just leave it at that. We need to move forward. This is sad. Very sad.

New.

All I did today was wallow and think about how lonely I was.

But you know what, I think one day is enough of complaining.

I AM STARTING OVER! THIS IS GOOD! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT NOW!


Forget the blues. I want the yellows.


It's not winter, it's summer. I want freedom from my own jail.


My next step is to remember this.

Band-aid

Last night, I ended things. People kept telling me that my situation was like a band-aid and that I needed to just rip it off fast in order for it to not hurt. Currently, I disagree with that analogy. I finished things, but why do I hurt so much now? I cannot stop thinking about how much trouble I probably just caused for a person. I feel like the worst person in the world. It had to happen though; I couldn't just leave things as they are and watch myself rot. I had to do this, even if I wished I didn't do it. Things are so hard these days. I just wish this never happened. I want someone to hug me.

Old, young.

You know what I find a bit funny: when older people complain about their age. Yes, I know that they enjoy being young, having health, making as many mistakes as they can and them not really haunting them. But honestly, I think when I'm older (or at least I hope to) I will cherish my age. When you're older, there are so many stories to tell to the youngins'. Old people are WISE. I hope I remember what my opinion was at fifteen when I'm an old cat lady.